Let's talk about some particular sex-related issues from this virtue ethics perspective. Remember, we are no longer comparing these things against some list of rules. We're asking, is it possible for these things to build the virtuesin some circumstances? Or if not that, to at least to not build vices?
First,
any of the below including non-voluntary people (including minors) clearly constitutes harm to that
person, and disrespect of that person.
Hookups
I will presently define hookups as sex involving minimal
relationship, all other things being equal. What virtue problems would this this present?
Could a lifestyle of nothing
but hookups also make it more difficult to build relationships?
Perhaps. But could sex without preexisting relationship actually build relationship
in these cases? I've heard of such. So from a peacemaking perspective, it depends on the details.
There are also considerations of
when sex qualifies as kind and truthful; sex can make a person vulnerable,
and without knowing a person's background before having sex with them,
you could inadvertently do them great harm. (For that matter, if you just met your partner, can you be sure that they are a legal adult?) So there are risks here, it
seems a lot depends on the details, and more data could definitely
result in different conclusions.
Can virtue-neutral, or even
positive-virtue, hookup sex exist? So far I don't see that it can't. It seems like finding it depends greatly on the details of each individual case.
Sex Work
In some ways, exchanging money for sex isn't that different from hookup sex, in that both are sex without relationship. For the same reasons, in principle, a for-pay sexual relationship involving mutual kindness and humility could exist. But in reality, money changing hands results in a power dynamic that is difficult to avoid or escape.
Many sex workers are not
making free choices. Some are not free in the same sense that no person living hand-to-mouth is truly making
free choices. Many other sex workers are victims of outright human trafficking and slavery. Participating in this is participating in great evil.
Without full information about the sex worker's circumstances, the client may be unknowingly contributing to their harm. Truthfulness is a prerequisite to kindness in this case. I suppose a free sex worker could also unknowingly contribute to the harm of the client, though clearly in an asymmetrical fashion.
Again like hookup sex, optimal kindness to a person
requires understanding their life situation. Perhaps ethical consumption of prostitution could exist, but knowing what we know about the contingent details of the world, I'm not sure what it would even look like.
Masturbation
There's never been a good scriptural argument that self-stimulation is wrong, even from a legalistic framework. The best I've heard is that masturbation necessarily invokes lust, but that comes from a misunderstanding of what the sin of lust fundamentally is: not sexual desire, but wanting a person as an object for your own ends.
From this virtue framework, there's not much to say, since most of the virtues we've seen are relational. Actions around self-stimulation, such as objectification of a desired other through pornography or just imagination, would certainly be negative in love and respect, but that's not actually a problem with the act in itself. Like almost everything, It could be negative in integrity and self-control, but that's only in some situations. Indeed, for some people with higher sex drives, sexual release may be part of achieving self-control in other domains of life, and therefore virtue-positive in some sense. In general, self-stimulation appears to be virtue-neutral, but the context around it can make a tremendous difference in that assessment.
Pornography and Erotica
Let's define pornography as imagery intended to facilitate
sexual arousal, and erotica as text to the same end. Creating, purveying, or consuming them are all different
activities, and the existence of virtual pornography complicates things further, but we can probably make some general statements.
For people in relationships, anything involving pornography or erotica might constitute faithlessness, depending on their relationship. Distribution of pornography as revenge after the end of a relationship would also constitute faithlessness. But for single persons, or some persons in relationships, these problems don't seem to apply. What about them?
Now, I don't
have actual data on real-world pornography. (My brain deeply connects sex with relationship, so actors on a screen doing it for money is of basically no appeal for me. I have other problems, as we all do.) But anecdotal evidence says that habitual
consumption of unrealistic pornography can build unrealistic expectations of what sex is like, and make real sexual relationships difficult to build. I understand pornography commonly shows violence against women! What awful and disgusting messaging. Not to mention the trope (also present in lots of non-pornographic productions) that all women are absurdly young models matching our society's narrow physical standards of perfection.
So (some) pornography actually interferes with the development of relationships, thereby building vices. The creation and purveyance of such pornography is untruthful, and the consumption of
such pornography is the opposite of embracing truth. Such consumption can incentivize creation of more. So any participation in deceptive pornography is severely problematic, at least given our present world. Presumably the same applies to erotica, though I have no data on that subject.
Let's assume for the moment we could find honest pornography or erotica, with an accurate portrayal of sex. Unlike hookups or prostitution, there is literally no interaction
between the creator and the consumer. No relationship can
be built between them. I suppose couples might consume pornography or erotica together, and
find some positive relationship-building virtue. Solo consumption of
pornography and erotica is, at best, neutral on this virtue.
But like those selling sex for money, many of those involved in creating pornography may not be free to say no. Consuming that pornography incentivizes rape, which is clearly unethical in any imaginable system. I've heard that ethically-sourced pornography exists, but I couldn't say more about that. Erotica and virtual pornography don't seem to have this problem.
So suppose erotica or ethically-sourced pornography with a truthful depiction of ethical sex existed, what would it look like? I suspect it would look very much like instructional videos with an erotic bent, probably showing a wide variety of ages and body types. This would seem to be virtue-positive for Embrace of knowledge, wisdom, and truth. All truth is God's truth, and that truth being sexually arousing doesn't make it any less God's truth. The consumption of such erotica or pornography by a couple could also be virtue-positive for building relationship and facilitating kindness with a sexual partner.
Do such videos exist? Got me, but given the breadth of the video available in the world, I'm going to say "probably." Is creation, distribution, and consumption of them ethical? I can't at this time see why not. Am I advocating making them available as part of some level of sex education curriculum? No, but I'm not sure it's for ethical reasons. It's just because the whole idea squicks me out.
Of course, the wild card in all this is Integrity and self-control, as it is in a lot of analyses. More about that soon.
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