Consulting

I've decided I'd do well as a consultant. Here's my reasoning.

1) I'm analytical-smart. Give me a problem, and I will break it down and analyze every last crumb of it until you wish you'd never asked. I am very, very good at this. Now, this does not make me unique; I know a number of people who are the same way, some few of which are even better than me. But if I'm not the most analytical-smart person I know, I'm definitely in the top ten.

2) I enjoy learning entirely new subject domains. Maybe I don't know anything about the problem you're trying to solve. But if properly motivated, I will know it very soon. And if I'm new to your domain, I don't make all the assumptions you make, which is to your advantage. I'm so far outside the box I can't even see the box.

3) I'm not falsely modest. (This may come as a shock.) I know what I'm good at, and I'm not going to sit here and tell others "Oh, you're just as good at it as I am" unless it's true. I try not to be an arrogant jerk, but I don't do anyone any favors by pretending I'm not useful.

4) I'm surprisingly money-motivated. There's nothing wrong with this; money is a means to an end, and I really like my ends. The more money I earn, the better I can care for my family, and the more good I can do in the world at large. Waving some cheddar under my nose (either kind of cheddar, actually) has a strong correlation with getting me to accomplish a goal.

5) I'm moral. I'm not going to screw you out of a buck, and I'm going to help you find solutions that let you do the most good you can. And if there really are no good solutions, and I'll tell you that too.

So if you or your friends need someone to help you think through your problems, you know where to find me.